Tufts’ swim coach reflects on how his parents’ unwavering presence shaped his approach to coaching, leadership, and showing up for his own children
Tufts swim coach Adam Hoyt watches his student-athletes compete during the 2023 NCAA Championships. Photo: Josh Brown for Tufts Athletics
I always stress to my athletes that family, for me, is number one. That belief started with my own upbringing.
When I was swimming at Hamilton College, my parents attended most of my athletic competitions, if not all. For four years. Making the trip up from Orange, Connecticut to Clinton, New York—a nearly four-hour trip each way—and to all my away meets, too.
Sometimes they would say, ‘We're not sure if we can make it. Like, do you care if we come?’ But they always seemed to show up.
Adam Hoyt with his parents, Wilfred Hoyt Jr. and Jessie Hoyt. Photo: Courtesy of Adam Hoyt
Then, when I started coaching, my dad especially, but my mom, too, they would start showing up to those swim meets. People would be, like, “Oh, do you have a child swimming?’ And they’d say, ‘No, my son’s the coach.’ They would always just say, ‘How lucky are we to be able to watch our son work?’ Most people don't get to see their children in their work environment. They really valued being able to watch me do my thing. They celebrated my successes with me. They empathized with my struggles.
Hearing them say that is so important to me—recognizing that they really valued being able to watch me do my thing. You know, they celebrated my successes with me. They empathized, sympathized with my struggles.
When I think about them sitting in the stands at Hamilton Pool, socked in there with 100 people when the seating capacity is 65 and they didn’t even have a kid swimming, that’s just something that stays with me.
As I think now about my own kids, Rae and Jude, I try to prioritize showing up for them, even when I’m tired or I have a conflict. During our pre-season, I walk them to the bus every day. I pick them up from school here and there. It sometimes might lead me to doing work off hours or on the weekends, but for me, being present when I have the time is my focus.
I try to bring them to the athletic facility and other Tufts events. I'm so privileged to have access to these things and for my young children to see these college athletes who are just phenomenal humans. I try to bring them around for self-benefit, for our family's benefit, but then I also try to bring them around for the benefit of the team.
That's a vulnerable part of my life. That's my personal life. And if I can bring that out into our team at different places, having my son or daughter around the pool deck, checking out practice or popping into a team meeting because I'm on dad-duty, for my team to see that side of me, I think is really important, because I'm not just a coach. I have a lot of identities that are meaningful to me and maybe by sharing that, they'll realize that I understand that they're not just a swimmer. They're not just a diver. They have other identities and other priorities, too.
—Adam Hoyt, head coach of the Tufts men’s and women’s swim and dive teams
Our Tufts is a series of personal stories shared by members of the Tufts community and featured on both Tufts Now and Instagram.
