‘I Made a Promise to Myself’

The summer before my junior year at Tufts, I tested positive for COVID-19. I quarantined at home for a week, and felt slightly tired, but otherwise completely normal. After I tested negative, I returned to my summer internship without any lingering symptoms.

A month later, I suddenly became sick with long COVID. One day, I was completely normal, and the next, I had debilitating fatigue and brain fog. My right leg would collapse in on itself when I took a step. My head would drop forward, so that my face was pointing at the ground. Tasks as simple as sending an email or having a conversation were a cognitive challenge, and even undoable sometimes. I would force myself out of bed to walk for five minutes at a slow, labored pace—and then rest for hours afterward because the short walk had exhausted me.

I tried many different treatments and medications, in hopes that something would help me. A long COVID clinician prescribed me three medications based on my bloodwork and told me I would be better within a couple months. My condition did not improve. I had physical and cognitive therapy appointments twice a week for months. At times, I seemed to be making slow but consistent progress, only to have my symptoms worsen again, wiping that progress out completely.

I vividly remember that, on the way to one of my cognitive therapy appointments, I ran out of the limited energy I had that day. The fatigue was so overpowering that I couldn’t walk without help, couldn’t speak more than a word or two, or participate at all in my own appointment. After an hour-long appointment of me sitting in silence, head pointed towards the ground, my cognitive therapist asked me if I was depressed. I wasn’t; I was just too exhausted and fatigued to even try to speak.

As months went by, my symptoms did not improve. Any minor exertion, like a short conversation, eating lunch or reading a page or two of text, would take hours to recover from, and if I spent just a couple of minutes too long on an activity, I would be met with more severe symptoms the next day. I was still the same person on the inside, but the severe fatigue and brain fog limited me from interacting with the world in any meaningful way. I was watching myself slowly fade away.

About a year in, still with little progress towards recovery, I made a promise to myself: I would not give up on recovery, ever. I didn’t want to get 10 or 20 years down the line and realize I could have possibly recovered with more effort and determination. When my symptoms were severe, that promise forced me to do what was best for my recovery, no matter how hard it was. Through the setbacks and uncertainties of recovery, I committed to focusing on what I could control: my effort.

While this mindset didn’t immediately lead to recovery, focusing on what I could control and being persistent in my pursuit of recovery provided the framework that I needed to eventually recover. Progress towards recovery was nonlinear and unpredictable, but through it all, I made sure to remember what I had promised myself: to do everything I could to recover, no matter what.

After two years of being unable to work or take classes, I was well enough to take a single summer class online. I took online classes for the next year, and then, after three years away from Tufts, I stepped back on campus for the first time in September 2025. While I am not yet 100% recovered, my physical and cognitive health have returned. The few remaining long COVID symptoms I have left do not limit me from living my life fully and completely.

I can’t say that I am happy I got long COVID, but there are some silver linings. It has made me a more resilient person and shaped how I approach challenges in my life. I’m more patient and find it easier to hold my worries in perspective. I appreciate the aspects of life I love so much more and think of each day as an opportunity that I can make the most of. Whenever I’m having a challenging day, I remind myself how lucky I am to have recovered from long COVID. It is such a gift to be healthy, and able to spend my time working towards goals that I care about.

There are so many things that I am excited for when, just a year or two ago, I really didn’t know what the future held for me. I’m studying computer science at Tufts, and plan to work as a software engineer after I graduate. I ran a half-marathon last summer and hope to run a full marathon one day. I’ve reconnected with old friends I had before long COVID and have made new ones since I’ve returned to Tufts. Each day when I wake up, I am so grateful to have the opportunity to work towards my goals and live the life that I choose to live.

Being healthy and able to carve your own path in life is a gift that most of us take for granted. There are many people who suffer from illness so severe that they are unable to advocate for themselves or share their stories. I live every day with these people in mind. I think we owe it to these people to live life on our own terms and make each day count.

—Sam Zuckerman, computer science major

Our Tufts is a series of personal stories shared by members of the Tufts community and featured on both Tufts Now and Instagram.